self-compassion

Today’s Lessons

In no particular order:

– Waiting for an apology that is never gonna come is exhausting. You may as well let that that shit go and keep it moving.

– Silence is an answer. Accept it as such.

– You are the only person that you will spend the rest of your life with 24/7 so you had better make sure that you love you. I’m so serious.

– Don’t be too big/proud/too much of an asshole to admit your own faults. Be humble. Have grace. Apologize when you should.

– You don’t have to be the kind of person that hurt you. You’re better than that.

– If it seems too good to be true, it is. On some very basic level, you already know this but for some reason we try to convince ourselves otherwise.

– No matter who gives up on you, don’t give up on yourself.

– Remember who you were before the world tried to break you. Get back up and try again. Maybe take a nap first.

– Keep going. Keep trying. Keep smiling. Keep shining.

Always.

xoxo

self-compassion

Unconditional People

I hope you have some.

I can literally name 3 true hearts and humans that I still have in my life and world and I’m grateful for them.

I used to believe that I had more.

But when the shit goes down in the big and ugliest of ways, you find out fast and in a hurry who will be left in the end, and for me, I have 3.

One of the hard lessons was realizing that those people who I believed were my “ride or die” tribe members were more than ready to bail and exit stage left when things became unpredictable and less than socially acceptable.

I quickly learned new ways the heart can break.

But more importantly, I’ve learned and grown and changed in so many ways and become a better support for myself and my own heart.

I’ve learned to love me. Flaws and all.

I don’t struggle to be “seen” or approved of.

I just am.

I’m comfortable in my own skin and don’t feel like I have anything to prove to anyone other than the person who I’m living the rest of my life with — the person I see in the mirror for my forever. She is me.

I’ve have also found that there can be pockets of normal even in the middle of awful. Pockets of amazing in between the chaos. Pockets of hope in between the loneliness.

And, to my 3 true ride or die humans: you know who you are and I love you.

And that’s enough.

Always.

xoxo

self-compassion

Writing my Way Forward

Writing has become my own personal therapy. My new best friend. My person who will listen without judgement. My true ride or die. I’ve learned that I have to be all of these things for myself because others who promised they’d never leave and would be with me “all the days no matter what” have gone.

I write to feel heard. I write to make sense of the chaos and to understand and to be understood.

I write and I share and I try make sense of the things that I struggle with and I hope that my story resonates with others who have similar struggles.

I hope you know you’re not alone and I hope you know that there are people in the same boat — just different bodies of water; in different places with different destinations.

Keep rowing your boat. Rest when you need to but keep going.

All the love. All the days.

xoxo