self-care, self-compassion

Un-Stick Yourself!

Some of the harder life lessons that I’ve carried with me for 42 years, I’ve recently had to unlearn and un-teach myself. They were lies. The big, fat ugly ones. The heavy ones that weigh you down and cause you to be small and feel like you can’t stand up tall and be who you’re made to be.

It’s not really clear to me where I picked up these untruths. I can’t say if anyone in particular said them to me with their outside voice or I was simply led to believe them by the actions of others. But they stuck.

And, the un-sticking has been hard. But it’s also been worth it.

Here are some of my favorite big-fat-ugly lies that I am unlearning: I am inherently hard to love. I am too much. I am not enough. I’m unworthy of kindness. Who I am is wrong.

And here are the universal truths that I am reteaching myself —- on a daily basis: Love is easy. Love doesn’t judge. Love doesn’t keep a tally of wrongs. Love doesn’t require me to do anything. Love lets me be me and doesn’t ask a single thing of me. Love doesn’t find my faults. Love doesn’t shame me. Love doesn’t make me feel anxious or less than. Love doesn’t think I’m too much. Love doesn’t think I’m not enough.

Also: Love is perfect. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn’t judge. Love doesn’t require me to earn it. Love simply is.

I hope that you haven’t learned the wrong lessons in your life, but if you have, I want you to know that those big-fat-ugly lies are not who YOU are. Who YOU are is magic. Who YOU are is light. And, most importantly: who YOU are is love. And it takes no effort to love. It simply is.

Get unstuck. Don’t let their voice or their actions and inability to love turn into your inner voice that you carry with you. Unstick yourself. Use some emotional goo-gone and stop that roller coaster of self-doubt and self loathing.

Stay clear of those people who make you doubt your value in this world. Because YOU are absolutely-fucking-amazing, friend. When you find yourself doubting that, read this. YOU are filling the YOU shaped hole in this universe. And no one else could ever do that.

#keepshining

Always. xoxo

self-compassion

Writing my Way Forward

Writing has become my own personal therapy. My new best friend. My person who will listen without judgement. My true ride or die. I’ve learned that I have to be all of these things for myself because others who promised they’d never leave and would be with me “all the days no matter what” have gone.

I write to feel heard. I write to make sense of the chaos and to understand and to be understood.

I write and I share and I try make sense of the things that I struggle with and I hope that my story resonates with others who have similar struggles.

I hope you know you’re not alone and I hope you know that there are people in the same boat — just different bodies of water; in different places with different destinations.

Keep rowing your boat. Rest when you need to but keep going.

All the love. All the days.

xoxo

self-compassion, Spring 2019

What I’m LOVING this Wednesday!

Happy First Day of Spring, friends!  We made it through the Winter — officially.  (Living in Virginia, where we often experience all 4-seasons in any given week, it’s questionable that it’s really “Spring” but we’ll just go along with the calendar saying so.)

It’s been a fun but stressful week here in my little world but I’m still LOVING some things that have eased my stresses, so here goes!

  1.  Reading is my escape from reality these days – it’s FABULOUS to be able to check out from the grind and daily nonsense and this week I got absolutely lost in this book – I got the Kindle edition from Amazon and stayed up until the wee hours just to finish it because I got completely sucked in.  It’s a def  MUST READ.  Apple Tree Yard by Louise Doughty.  Apparently, there’s also a mini-series of sorts on the BBC but I haven’t checked that out yet.  Let me know if you have and if you recommend it:).
  2. In true celebration of Spring time, I got a hair cut this weekend – just a trim and shape up really.  But it’s at that “just got cut and doesn’t really do what I tell it to” stage so I’m loving this stuff that my friend Erica recommended: SGX NYC The-Do-It-All.  It’s a dry shampoo meets hairspray concoction that refreshes and smells fabulous and also lightly holds a style.  This stuff is super yummy, y’all.
  3. Aromatherapy is my new jam.  I love everything in my home and environment smelling like roses, rainbows and sunshine.  It’s been a hard week – I know I already said that – BUT, this stuff is what’s up and I cannot get enough of it: Spray the Bitch Away.  “An aromatherapy spray for when you’re irritated, pissed off, annoyed, tired, peeved, frustrated, enraged, and have an overall bad attitude!” is their own description of this stuff and it’s PERFECT. It includes Rose Geranium and Clary Sage, Lavender, Bergamot, and Frankincense, which all have a calming effect. Let’s breathe.
  4. I’ve needed hella inspiration this week.  If you need some too, my latest favorite human that we share this planet with is Tanya Markul aka the Thug Unicorn.  Check out her poetry and words and find your way forward.  (There’s even a tee-shirt and it’s super cute on her site.  At least I can wear something to remind me of my voice when I’m down.)
  5. This week’s favorite quote:”May you always be the one who notices the little things that make the light pour through, and may they always remind you: There is more to life and there is more to you. ” – Morgan Harper Nichols

xoxo Always,

#keepshining

Spring 2019, Uncategorized

What I’m LOVING Spring 2019 Edition

Friends! In an effort to get us all Spring Ready and FABULOUS I reached out to my friend and fellow blogger extraordinaire, Jennifer McCune to have her share some of her most helpful tips for skin care. I’m so excited to share her recommendations and tools of the trade that she swears by. And, be sure to check out her blog, Mompreneur Next Door.

P.s the pictures above are Jennifer’s own from 2007 to 2015 and those results?! Wow!

Ah, spring! The time of year when we get outside more and show off our gorgeous skin! So of course it’s also the best time of year to think of how best to take care of our largest organ and feel confident with how we look.

Tip Number One – Brighten up that dull-looking winter skin by exfoliating a few times a week with a gentle exfoliant to remove that top layer of dead skin cells. Using a skin care routine that includes a gentle moisturizer, Vitamin C, Retinol and a sunscreen will help brighten up your skin and prevent future damage as well. Look for products that are meant to work together as well. If not, it’s like mixing together cinnamon and garlic. They’re both great alone but don’t work so well together.

Tip Number Two – Don’t forget those eyes! As we age, our eyes appear smaller so not only do you want to start using a good eye cream at a young age, but you also want something to enhance your lashes. Falsies can be very damaging and costly long-term, so a good serum is the easiest, healthiest and most cost-effective option.


Tip Number Three – Wear a daily sunscreen to prevent further sun damage. If you want to get a fresh-looking natural glow, try a sunless tanner and don’t forget your vitamin D.

All of these tips along with wearing a hat, drinking lots of water, and sleeping 7+ hours a night will keep you aging gracefully and feeling and looking fantastic! Remember that the best wrinkle is the one you never get!