self-compassion

Today’s Lessons

In no particular order:

– Waiting for an apology that is never gonna come is exhausting. You may as well let that that shit go and keep it moving.

– Silence is an answer. Accept it as such.

– You are the only person that you will spend the rest of your life with 24/7 so you had better make sure that you love you. I’m so serious.

– Don’t be too big/proud/too much of an asshole to admit your own faults. Be humble. Have grace. Apologize when you should.

– You don’t have to be the kind of person that hurt you. You’re better than that.

– If it seems too good to be true, it is. On some very basic level, you already know this but for some reason we try to convince ourselves otherwise.

– No matter who gives up on you, don’t give up on yourself.

– Remember who you were before the world tried to break you. Get back up and try again. Maybe take a nap first.

– Keep going. Keep trying. Keep smiling. Keep shining.

Always.

xoxo

self-compassion

Unconditional People

I hope you have some.

I can literally name 3 true hearts and humans that I still have in my life and world and I’m grateful for them.

I used to believe that I had more.

But when the shit goes down in the big and ugliest of ways, you find out fast and in a hurry who will be left in the end, and for me, I have 3.

One of the hard lessons was realizing that those people who I believed were my “ride or die” tribe members were more than ready to bail and exit stage left when things became unpredictable and less than socially acceptable.

I quickly learned new ways the heart can break.

But more importantly, I’ve learned and grown and changed in so many ways and become a better support for myself and my own heart.

I’ve learned to love me. Flaws and all.

I don’t struggle to be “seen” or approved of.

I just am.

I’m comfortable in my own skin and don’t feel like I have anything to prove to anyone other than the person who I’m living the rest of my life with — the person I see in the mirror for my forever. She is me.

I’ve have also found that there can be pockets of normal even in the middle of awful. Pockets of amazing in between the chaos. Pockets of hope in between the loneliness.

And, to my 3 true ride or die humans: you know who you are and I love you.

And that’s enough.

Always.

xoxo

self-care, self-compassion

My Best Advice for Bad Days

Sometimes, I need to take it back to the very basics. I mean super basics. Because I tend to get lost in the shuffle and lose my way. And those are the days that I need to keep it simple.

My keeping it simple looks like this:

Set an alarm and get the hell up and out of bed. On the really bad days, I’m always surprised at how hard a task this simple can actually be.

Once you’re up and moving about, take a long shower. Wash away those negative thoughts and feelings with a fresh smelling soap and shampoo. Rinse and repeat and you’ll be surprised at how much better you can feel emotionally once you’re physically well cared for.

Take time to find clothes that are soft and soothing. Now is not the time to go all out with heels and bobbles. Keep it soft and cozy and wrap yourself in things that bring you comfort while you’re bouncing back to the you that you know and love.

Listen to uplifting and encouraging music or a podcast. Keep it positive and light, bright and happy.

Eat the cake. Or the carbs. Whatever works. Nourish and indulge and embrace the comfort food as you care for you.

Take time to breathe. Really breathe and be in the moment. We can’t change the past or the future and worry does no one any good at all.

What are your self-care tips for the really bad days? What works for you and helps you love yourself through it? I’d love to hear your ideas.

In the mean time, take care of you.

Always,

self-care, self-compassion

It’s Probably Hard to Be My Kids

I came to this grand conclusion this week.

I’m aware that I’m loud, awkward and extra.

That’s probably a hard reality for my kids who are currently teenagers.

But they’ve never known me any other way.

For all of my flaws, they know without a shadow of a doubt that they get all of me — always.

I probably over share. I’m probably too vocal about so many things. But they will never have to question where they stand or wonder what I’m thinking. They know that I will always keep it real. Authenticity is my thing and I don’t hide my mistakes from them. They know that I’m learning as I go. And my hope is that that will give them permission to be flawed and fabulous and beautiful souls walking this earth, too.

I don’t want them to ever have the thought “oh, shit. What’s Mom gonna do?”. I don’t want them to fear being real and sometimes broken or overwhelmed or stressed because my goal is to always be their soft place to land. That’s not to say that I don’t correct them and lose my patience with them when they do things that are not so great; I will always be their Momma and my job is also to guide them and let them know when they’ve gone astray and help them back in the right direction.

But my love never waivers. Not for a single minute. Not ever even for a moment.

They get the best of me and I’m so proud of the young human beings that they are growing into.

Always,

xoxo

self-compassion

Writing my Way Forward

Writing has become my own personal therapy. My new best friend. My person who will listen without judgement. My true ride or die. I’ve learned that I have to be all of these things for myself because others who promised they’d never leave and would be with me “all the days no matter what” have gone.

I write to feel heard. I write to make sense of the chaos and to understand and to be understood.

I write and I share and I try make sense of the things that I struggle with and I hope that my story resonates with others who have similar struggles.

I hope you know you’re not alone and I hope you know that there are people in the same boat — just different bodies of water; in different places with different destinations.

Keep rowing your boat. Rest when you need to but keep going.

All the love. All the days.

xoxo