self-compassion

Oh, the Clutter…

I’m a naturally scattered human by nature. As I’m learning and growing and embracing all that is me, I’m trying to be more mindful of my processes and quirks and flaws.

That said, as I’m reflecting on wrapping up 2019 with a big and pretty bow, I’ve really been ALL OVER THE PLACE this year and I want (and need) to tidy things up.

I’m forever amazed that I still don’t know what I want to “be” when I grow up. When am I gonna figure this life-stuff out? I feel like 42 years and 5 months of age should be sufficient in helping me determine a direction and a path but, here we are.

I feel stuck and uninspired and I just want to spread peace, love, joy and glitter.

(Can I get a real job hugging all the broken people and telling them everything will be ok?)

These next few weeks, I’m hoping to pare down and de-clutter and be more mindful and meaningful about what’s important to ME in this world that I share with the people I love. I feel like 2020 needs to bring about a more focused and intentional ME.

Wish me luck!

All the love. Always.

D

self-compassion

Today’s Lessons

In no particular order:

– Waiting for an apology that is never gonna come is exhausting. You may as well let that that shit go and keep it moving.

– Silence is an answer. Accept it as such.

– You are the only person that you will spend the rest of your life with 24/7 so you had better make sure that you love you. I’m so serious.

– Don’t be too big/proud/too much of an asshole to admit your own faults. Be humble. Have grace. Apologize when you should.

– You don’t have to be the kind of person that hurt you. You’re better than that.

– If it seems too good to be true, it is. On some very basic level, you already know this but for some reason we try to convince ourselves otherwise.

– No matter who gives up on you, don’t give up on yourself.

– Remember who you were before the world tried to break you. Get back up and try again. Maybe take a nap first.

– Keep going. Keep trying. Keep smiling. Keep shining.

Always.

xoxo

self-compassion

Unconditional People

I hope you have some.

I can literally name 3 true hearts and humans that I still have in my life and world and I’m grateful for them.

I used to believe that I had more.

But when the shit goes down in the big and ugliest of ways, you find out fast and in a hurry who will be left in the end, and for me, I have 3.

One of the hard lessons was realizing that those people who I believed were my “ride or die” tribe members were more than ready to bail and exit stage left when things became unpredictable and less than socially acceptable.

I quickly learned new ways the heart can break.

But more importantly, I’ve learned and grown and changed in so many ways and become a better support for myself and my own heart.

I’ve learned to love me. Flaws and all.

I don’t struggle to be “seen” or approved of.

I just am.

I’m comfortable in my own skin and don’t feel like I have anything to prove to anyone other than the person who I’m living the rest of my life with — the person I see in the mirror for my forever. She is me.

I’ve have also found that there can be pockets of normal even in the middle of awful. Pockets of amazing in between the chaos. Pockets of hope in between the loneliness.

And, to my 3 true ride or die humans: you know who you are and I love you.

And that’s enough.

Always.

xoxo

self-care, self-compassion

This One Struck SO Many Chords with Me today

I believe this down to my bones, y’all.

The harder your journey, the more strength you gain — and with that strength, hopefully, we also find some grace; and the ability and desire to give back.

The only way forward is through. And, sometimes that journey is hard and heavy and the last thing anyone needs is to feel isolated and alone.

So when you’re out of your own personal storm, I hope you find the hope at the end of whatever rainbow life gives you. I hope you take some time to be a light in someone else’s journey.

This world needs you to shine.

Much love and happy weekend. ❤️

xoxo

self-compassion

It’s Still Heavy

I learned this yesterday.

While grief and pain and worry are heavy burdens to carry, especially on you’re own, so too is joy and excitement and good news.

Everyone knows and expects that the negative emotions are gonna make you feel low and weighed down. That’s why we lean on our systems of support. To lesson our load and share the weight so that our pieces of pain may feel a little less heavy to carry – even for a few moments.

That’s not to say it still doesn’t suck.

And badly.

But sharing your grief, your shame, your sadness and your worry helps. Somehow, giving oxygen to what worries our hearts and minds and sharing it with another soul is soothing.

But what I didn’t realize, until yesterday, is that joy and happiness and excitement and really good news can also feel heavy and make us weighed down.

We’re meant to give oxygen to our happiness and share it as well.

The best parts of our lives are meant to be appreciated and honored with those who we love and who also love us back. Not having a system of support to help us carry the weight of really happy and good news can feel almost burdensome, too.

And that surprised me.

I’ve been grateful for the people who have been in my corner while I have weathered some horrible storms. But just as important as those who helped to carry me through the tough stuff are those who stand with me and smile and are excited for me and my happiness and my life “wins”.

I hope you have people to celebrate with.

When there’s no one to call when you’re bursting at the seams with joy, that joy can quickly feel muted or less than.

And it absolutely shouldn’t.

So find your cheerleading section, y’all. We need those people who clap for us and smile with us just as much as we need those folks who help us when we’re down.

Xoxo

Always.

#keepshining

self-compassion

Oops! I did it again.

I seem to have fallen back into the bad habits that I promised to quit over the last few weeks.

The “trying to prove I’m worthy of love” thing. The “look at me! Here I am. Act like you love me” thing.

It’s not a good look, y’all.

It’s also not a good feeling when you’re texting and messaging and hoping for some vague acknowledgment of your existence on the planet as a human being of value and worth.

Here’s what I know for sure (and that I need to remind myself of again):

– Love is free.

– Love is perfect.

– Love doesn’t demand a single thing from me. It simply IS.

I’m ever grateful for the beautiful souls that I walk this world with that accept me for me and love me; even on the hard days.

The people in your life that matter should never make you believe that you’re hard to love. Because you’re not. Not for the hearts who are truly meant to love you.

Always,

xoxo