self-care, self-compassion

This One Struck SO Many Chords with Me today

I believe this down to my bones, y’all.

The harder your journey, the more strength you gain — and with that strength, hopefully, we also find some grace; and the ability and desire to give back.

The only way forward is through. And, sometimes that journey is hard and heavy and the last thing anyone needs is to feel isolated and alone.

So when you’re out of your own personal storm, I hope you find the hope at the end of whatever rainbow life gives you. I hope you take some time to be a light in someone else’s journey.

This world needs you to shine.

Much love and happy weekend. ❤️

xoxo

self-compassion

A Year Ago Today

Things went from bad to worse in the blink of an eye.

Not many people know my entire story and I share it sparingly because I’ve been judged harshly. Not many people supported the choices I made. I’ve lost friends and loved ones along the way and I’ve made choices that I’ve been utterly ashamed of.

But ultimately, my truth today, in this moment, is that I’m proud of who I am.

The road I walked to get to where I am between July 1, 2018 to July 1, 2019 has been anything but pretty. I wouldn’t wish the things I’ve seen and lived through on anyone.

Not ever.

But guess what?

I’m. Still. Standing.

I’m still standing, y’all.

I’m smiling again.

I have a peace deep down that I’ve never known before.

I miss the people I’ve lost.

Every day I want to pick up the phone but I know that there’s nothing good to come of that. I’m simply not who I was then and I don’t want to be that person ever again.

I don’t want to WANT and crave approval and acceptance because I’ve learned the hard lessons of what unconditional love actually is.

I’m grateful for those who helped me get through my journey to the place I am now and I’m sorry that some of those people aren’t with me as I continue on my path forward.

The reasons, I know, are many and scattered and there are a multitude of why and what if’s.

So be it.

I can only pray for their peace, too.

I wish them well.

I hope that one day I will have the courage to share my WHOLE story. Unashamed and raw.

Maybe that will be my goal for July 1, 2020.

Until then, friends, keep shining.

Keep moving forward.

Don’t look back.

All the love.

All the days.

xoxo

self-compassion

It’s Still Heavy

I learned this yesterday.

While grief and pain and worry are heavy burdens to carry, especially on you’re own, so too is joy and excitement and good news.

Everyone knows and expects that the negative emotions are gonna make you feel low and weighed down. That’s why we lean on our systems of support. To lesson our load and share the weight so that our pieces of pain may feel a little less heavy to carry – even for a few moments.

That’s not to say it still doesn’t suck.

And badly.

But sharing your grief, your shame, your sadness and your worry helps. Somehow, giving oxygen to what worries our hearts and minds and sharing it with another soul is soothing.

But what I didn’t realize, until yesterday, is that joy and happiness and excitement and really good news can also feel heavy and make us weighed down.

We’re meant to give oxygen to our happiness and share it as well.

The best parts of our lives are meant to be appreciated and honored with those who we love and who also love us back. Not having a system of support to help us carry the weight of really happy and good news can feel almost burdensome, too.

And that surprised me.

I’ve been grateful for the people who have been in my corner while I have weathered some horrible storms. But just as important as those who helped to carry me through the tough stuff are those who stand with me and smile and are excited for me and my happiness and my life “wins”.

I hope you have people to celebrate with.

When there’s no one to call when you’re bursting at the seams with joy, that joy can quickly feel muted or less than.

And it absolutely shouldn’t.

So find your cheerleading section, y’all. We need those people who clap for us and smile with us just as much as we need those folks who help us when we’re down.

Xoxo

Always.

#keepshining

self-compassion

Oops! I did it again.

I seem to have fallen back into the bad habits that I promised to quit over the last few weeks.

The “trying to prove I’m worthy of love” thing. The “look at me! Here I am. Act like you love me” thing.

It’s not a good look, y’all.

It’s also not a good feeling when you’re texting and messaging and hoping for some vague acknowledgment of your existence on the planet as a human being of value and worth.

Here’s what I know for sure (and that I need to remind myself of again):

– Love is free.

– Love is perfect.

– Love doesn’t demand a single thing from me. It simply IS.

I’m ever grateful for the beautiful souls that I walk this world with that accept me for me and love me; even on the hard days.

The people in your life that matter should never make you believe that you’re hard to love. Because you’re not. Not for the hearts who are truly meant to love you.

Always,

xoxo

self-compassion

Keeping Score

It’s funny how there are times in life where you absolutely need to take a step back and re-evaluate your life. Most recently, that is happening for me as I’m about to celebrate my 42nd birthday in a few days.

I’ve had a number of starts, stops and resets in my personal journey and just as I think I’ve finally started to figure (some) things out, the universe seems to shake things up again. I begin (again) to rethink all of my decisions that have brought me to where I am at the present moment and I take time to really look at my world and my life and my choices and ask myself the hard questions.

I wonder does anyone else find themselves second guessing things over and over again? I’m envious of the people in the world who just seem to have gotten things right and appear for all intents and purposes to be coasting through their lives. (If that’s you reading this, you need to call me or write a how-to book because I feel like my time is ticking away and my life is overwrought with mistakes on top of more mistakes.)

I really do want to get things right. Just once.

Overall, I just want peace and quiet deep down and all the way into my soul because I’m tired, y’all. At the same time, in my current role as a Bereavement Coordinator for a local Hospice, I have the honor of spending time with people in their final days and sometimes hours while supporting their families and significant others as they learn their way forward in their grief. I’ve found that I’m so envious of those people who have their forever person to hold their hand through their life’s journey. Recently I’ve supported people who have had “their person” for 50+ years. It seems a rare thing in this day and age and it’s bittersweet to have a small window in to a love like that.

And then I think to myself, maybe I’m my own person. Maybe there’s no real “ride or die” that’s meant for me. Maybe my journey is meant to have starts and stops and resets because I’m supposed to learn grace and patience and perseverance along the way with fierce independence? And if that’s the case: yikes. That’s hella scary to me.

I love people. I love people fiercely. But maybe a fierce and hard love like that burns so brightly and then, ultimately burns out for a reason. Maybe I’ve given too much of what’s inherently me, away.

I don’t have the answers for me. I had hoped that I’d have my shit figured out by now. The only thing I really know for sure anymore is that I know absolutely nothing.

I know that there are no absolutes for me and there haven’t yet been any black and white situations where I’ve known what’s what. There’s all kinds of shades of grey.

And maybe that too, is a lesson that this life is teaching me. That I’m not ready for the test or the final exam so to speak. I’m still learning and growing and studying and hoping that I’ll ace it when my time comes.

Let’s cross our fingers and hope.

Much love.

Always.

xoxo

Uncategorized

What this Blog’s About

This journey has been hard for me, and I know it has been hard for you too. I suffered childhood traumas. I’ve experienced adult challenges. Now I am focused on healing. My healing. Your healing.

In my successful career as a social worker/advocate for geriatric patients, I helped seniors live their latter phases with dignity, and I helped their families through the pains of their final goodbyes. After 20 years in that space, I realized that I wanted to use what I had learned in school, at work, and most importantly: IN LIFE — to help people of all ages overcome the struggles they face every day. I have completed mental health & wellness trainings and I am excited to help others overcome while I do the same in my own life.

Mental wellness & self-care is a never ending journey, not a destination.

We all have hurts and negative habits and dark places…but we can all shine. Being Shiny doesn’t happen by accident. It takes time, energy, and intentionality to truly shine. You have to make space in your life & your heart for the practices (not perfects) that let your soul come out and truly sparkle. I’ve created this space- which I hope will become a community- to share what I am learning on this journey. Let’s do these things together.

Thanks for the love, my fellow Shiny Beings!

I’d love it you’d follow my pages on Facebook & Instagram, too.

Always,

xoxo

Danielle