I learned this yesterday.
While grief and pain and worry are heavy burdens to carry, especially on you’re own, so too is joy and excitement and good news.
Everyone knows and expects that the negative emotions are gonna make you feel low and weighed down. That’s why we lean on our systems of support. To lesson our load and share the weight so that our pieces of pain may feel a little less heavy to carry – even for a few moments.
That’s not to say it still doesn’t suck.
But sharing your grief, your shame, your sadness and your worry helps. Somehow, giving oxygen to what worries our hearts and minds and sharing it with another soul is soothing.
But what I didn’t realize, until yesterday, is that joy and happiness and excitement and really good news can also feel heavy and make us weighed down.
We’re meant to give oxygen to our happiness and share it as well.
The best parts of our lives are meant to be appreciated and honored with those who we love and who also love us back. Not having a system of support to help us carry the weight of really happy and good news can feel almost burdensome, too.
And that surprised me.
I’ve been grateful for the people who have been in my corner while I have weathered some horrible storms. But just as important as those who helped to carry me through the tough stuff are those who stand with me and smile and are excited for me and my happiness and my life “wins”.
I hope you have people to celebrate with.
When there’s no one to call when you’re bursting at the seams with joy, that joy can quickly feel muted or less than.
And it absolutely shouldn’t.
So find your cheerleading section, y’all. We need those people who clap for us and smile with us just as much as we need those folks who help us when we’re down.
Y’all! It’s been a while since I shared things I’m loving but guess what?! I’m loving some FABULOUS things and I have to share.
So here goes: (and happy shopping)
Book: You’re Not Lost by Maxie McCoy – THIS BOOK MIGHT BE MY NEW BIBLE FOR LIVING LIFE. Go get it. Run. Don’t walk.
Bag: Kipling Miri Crossbody Tote – I finally found a work bag that carries it all. My laptop, my binders, my files, and pockets for organizing pens and highlighters and anything else you can think of to get you through the day.
Foundation: Clinique Even Better Refresh – I cannot day enough about this! It’s perfect for Summer-Dry skin and moisturizes 24-hours with a light feeling with AH-MAZING coverage. I love this stuff. It covers all of the imperfections and redness but doesn’t feel make-up-y at all. AND, it lasts through my work day with zero need for retouching.
Lip Gloss: Victoria’s Secret Beauty Rush – Slice of Heaven – sheer but sparkly and non-drying. Pretty perfect for summer.
(I will post links for y’all later.)
I seem to have fallen back into the bad habits that I promised to quit over the last few weeks.
The “trying to prove I’m worthy of love” thing. The “look at me! Here I am. Act like you love me” thing.
It’s not a good look, y’all.
It’s also not a good feeling when you’re texting and messaging and hoping for some vague acknowledgment of your existence on the planet as a human being of value and worth.
Here’s what I know for sure (and that I need to remind myself of again):
– Love is free.
– Love is perfect.
– Love doesn’t demand a single thing from me. It simply IS.
I’m ever grateful for the beautiful souls that I walk this world with that accept me for me and love me; even on the hard days.
The people in your life that matter should never make you believe that you’re hard to love. Because you’re not. Not for the hearts who are truly meant to love you.
Sometimes, I need to take it back to the very basics. I mean super basics. Because I tend to get lost in the shuffle and lose my way. And those are the days that I need to keep it simple.
My keeping it simple looks like this:
Set an alarm and get the hell up and out of bed. On the really bad days, I’m always surprised at how hard a task this simple can actually be.
Once you’re up and moving about, take a long shower. Wash away those negative thoughts and feelings with a fresh smelling soap and shampoo. Rinse and repeat and you’ll be surprised at how much better you can feel emotionally once you’re physically well cared for.
Take time to find clothes that are soft and soothing. Now is not the time to go all out with heels and bobbles. Keep it soft and cozy and wrap yourself in things that bring you comfort while you’re bouncing back to the you that you know and love.
Listen to uplifting and encouraging music or a podcast. Keep it positive and light, bright and happy.
Eat the cake. Or the carbs. Whatever works. Nourish and indulge and embrace the comfort food as you care for you.
Take time to breathe. Really breathe and be in the moment. We can’t change the past or the future and worry does no one any good at all.
What are your self-care tips for the really bad days? What works for you and helps you love yourself through it? I’d love to hear your ideas.
In the mean time, take care of you.