Sometimes, I need to take it back to the very basics. I mean super basics. Because I tend to get lost in the shuffle and lose my way. And those are the days that I need to keep it simple.
My keeping it simple looks like this:
Set an alarm and get the hell up and out of bed. On the really bad days, I’m always surprised at how hard a task this simple can actually be.
Once you’re up and moving about, take a long shower. Wash away those negative thoughts and feelings with a fresh smelling soap and shampoo. Rinse and repeat and you’ll be surprised at how much better you can feel emotionally once you’re physically well cared for.
Take time to find clothes that are soft and soothing. Now is not the time to go all out with heels and bobbles. Keep it soft and cozy and wrap yourself in things that bring you comfort while you’re bouncing back to the you that you know and love.
Listen to uplifting and encouraging music or a podcast. Keep it positive and light, bright and happy.
Eat the cake. Or the carbs. Whatever works. Nourish and indulge and embrace the comfort food as you care for you.
Take time to breathe. Really breathe and be in the moment. We can’t change the past or the future and worry does no one any good at all.
What are your self-care tips for the really bad days? What works for you and helps you love yourself through it? I’d love to hear your ideas.
That’s probably a hard reality for my kids who are currently teenagers.
But they’ve never known me any other way.
For all of my flaws, they know without a shadow of a doubt that they get all of me — always.
I probably over share. I’m probably too vocal about so many things. But they will never have to question where they stand or wonder what I’m thinking. They know that I will always keep it real. Authenticity is my thing and I don’t hide my mistakes from them. They know that I’m learning as I go. And my hope is that that will give them permission to be flawed and fabulous and beautiful souls walking this earth, too.
I don’t want them to ever have the thought “oh, shit. What’s Mom gonna do?”. I don’t want them to fear being real and sometimes broken or overwhelmed or stressed because my goal is to always be their soft place to land. That’s not to say that I don’t correct them and lose my patience with them when they do things that are not so great; I will always be their Momma and my job is also to guide them and let them know when they’ve gone astray and help them back in the right direction.
But my love never waivers. Not for a single minute. Not ever even for a moment.
They get the best of me and I’m so proud of the young human beings that they are growing into.
Some of the harder life lessons that I’ve carried with me for 42 years, I’ve recently had to unlearn and un-teach myself. They were lies. The big, fat ugly ones. The heavy ones that weigh you down and cause you to be small and feel like you can’t stand up tall and be who you’re made to be.
It’s not really clear to me where I picked up these untruths. I can’t say if anyone in particular said them to me with their outside voice or I was simply led to believe them by the actions of others. But they stuck.
And, the un-sticking has been hard. But it’s also been worth it.
Here are some of my favorite big-fat-ugly lies that I am unlearning: I am inherently hard to love. I am too much. I am not enough. I’m unworthy of kindness. Who I am is wrong.
And here are the universal truths that I am reteaching myself —- on a daily basis: Love is easy. Love doesn’t judge. Love doesn’t keep a tally of wrongs. Love doesn’t require me to do anything. Love lets me be me and doesn’t ask a single thing of me. Love doesn’t find my faults. Love doesn’t shame me. Love doesn’t make me feel anxious or less than. Love doesn’t think I’m too much. Love doesn’t think I’m not enough.
Also: Love is perfect. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn’t judge. Love doesn’t require me to earn it. Love simply is.
I hope that you haven’t learned the wrong lessons in your life, but if you have, I want you to know that those big-fat-ugly lies are not who YOU are. Who YOU are is magic. Who YOU are is light. And, most importantly: who YOU are is love. And it takes no effort to love. It simply is.
Get unstuck. Don’t let their voice or their actions and inability to love turn into your inner voice that you carry with you. Unstick yourself. Use some emotional goo-gone and stop that roller coaster of self-doubt and self loathing.
Stay clear of those people who make you doubt your value in this world. Because YOU are absolutely-fucking-amazing, friend. When you find yourself doubting that, read this. YOU are filling the YOU shaped hole in this universe. And no one else could ever do that.
It’s actually Thursday and I’m late with this post – all apologies but it’s been a busy week. I hope this edition finds you well and happy.
So, without further delay, here’s what I’m loving:
I am guilty of loving all things glitter and sparkly – even at 41 years of age. I’m not even a little bit sorry about it either. I’ve found the cutest stuff that’s used for your hair and your body: Sea Goddess Hair & Body Shimmer Mist is what you need to sparkle any and every day. It’s a non-aerosol spray infused with ultra-fine, ocean-friendly mica that mimics the look of the ocean’s current. Ummmmmm…..yes, please. What’s not to love?
Sunday Forever is my new favorite online shopping experience for all things pampering. They have the most luscious kimonos that are so soft and absolutely indulgent. The classic pale pink is perfection and they also carry a delightful collection of candles. You MUST check out the Tan Lines Summer & Suntans scent – it’s delish. They preach that “everything you need to cleanse your energy and protect your vibes” can be found in their shop and I have to agree. While it’s definitely a splurge, you deserve it.
I refuse to believe that I’m the only person left on the planet that loves stationary and actual writing with a pen and paper. I am a sucker for the cute things that can be written in and on and that are small enough to keep in my bag when I’m out and about. Check out these adorable and compact diary planners from Moolang.
I’m currently reading and loving Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s motivational and uplifting and light and breezy and Spring time appropriate. Her words make me feel like I can conquer all of my goals —–you can too.
Hope it’s been a wonderful week for you too. Let me know what you’re loving this week.