self-compassion

Mid Pandemic Musings

Long time no write! I’ve been distracted; which is my typical, muddled and cluttered brain’s habit.

It occurred to me as we are mid pandemic and people are isolated and away from their families that this holiday season marked my 3rd being estranged from my biological family members.

My first was in 2018 so 2020 makes 3.

I never imagined that the things that fractured my family relationships would carry on this long; but at this point, I can’t imagine what could mend or heal all of the many hurts. As much as I’m not the same person that I was three years ago, I have to believe that neither are those who were formerly integral parts of my everyday life.

So much has changed and I don’t even know how simple conversation could be had. That water under the bridge is icy and full of rocks and choppy.

In my journey through healing I’ve learned that there is so much that I needed to let go of. So much weight that I’ve carried that was full of guilt and self-loathing and in these last three years, I’ve learned that the letting go is a daily practice. The grounding and breathing and simply being who I am and accepting me for me is a constant internal dialogue but each day it gets a little bit easier.

Five minutes of mindfulness and meditation can save your life. I know this is true because that’s exactly how I started to heal.

Five minutes at a time.

Keep shining, friends. ❤️

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